A Thousand Years Wide
by SuperAplusbroguY
Summary: Levi was devastated by the loss of his entire squad, and would've given anything to go back and stop it all from happening. Well, a certain 'Shitty Glasses' might just have the answer to his prayers... but at what cost? A slightly AU-ish fix-it fic for all you original Squad Levi lovers out there. Violence, gore, swearing, and smut; beware! LeviXPetra, LeviXHanji/Levihan


**A Thousand Years Wide**

**Prologue**

The hollow sound of lingering footfalls echoed coldly in the once bustling halls of Survey Corps headquarters. Brought upon by the only surviving member of Squad Levi, who now roamed the desolate castle in nostalgic sorrow. Most of the legion was still with the convoy, helping with the bodies, or taking leave to visit their respective families. Erwin had to report the 57th Expedition's failure to his superiors, so he'd left Levi in charge till his return.

Upon receiving this responsibility, Levi simply passed it off to Hanji without a word and limped for the front gates, ahead of the rest. He didn't even bother to stable his horse after dismounting, nor pay any heed to the pain of his injured leg. The spectacled squad leader had called after him, but the Captain was simply too numb to respond. He'd slipped into the building without a sound, and proceeded to burn himself alive with guilt, self-loathing, and regret. Every step he took sent pangs to his heart, as thoughts and images of his most trusted comrades plagued his weary mind.

The Survey Corps banners that hung proudly from the walls seemed to mock him as he passed, billowing slightly from the movement. The 'Wings of Freedom' welcomed Levi home, while his friends lay in the dirt with the same insignia on their bloodied cloaks. Where was _their_ welcome? His fists clenched tighter, as he reached the wing assigned to him and his former squad, inner turmoil growing.

Levi began his slow, agonizing journey down the familiar corridor, now cold and empty in its silence. Just this morning, it had been filled with such life and activity. The door to his quarters was at the very end of the hall, preceded only by four identical ones spaced evenly, with the names of his friends still plated on each. Now they were empty, never again to be occupied by their previous inhabitants. His nails dug into his palm, drawing blood and damn-near breaking his fingers from the force of his grip.

That bitch!

That fucking titan cunt! She did this, all of it. She ruthlessly pursued and slaughtered his friends, giving them no chance. That putrid whore had actually shown signs of intelligence, not just the constant drive to eat humans. And what did she do with it? She came up with all sorts of creative ways to decimate his comrades, and employed them immediately. No eating, just senseless murder!

That titan was smart enough to control herself and her urges, yet she had simply decided to waylay the expedition. Her intent to capture Eren was clear, but so was her disregard for any life that may have stood in her way… like his squadmates. Levi would never forget, and he would never forgive.

The first door he passed, had once belonged to the only man that had ever outridden Levi on horseback. A soft-spoken, yet incredibly focused soldier by the name of Erd Gin…

* * *

><p><em>Levi sat peacefully in an empty mess hall with his chair reclined on its back legs, feet propped up on the table. The dirt left from his boots on the surface didn't bother him as much as it should, as it only provided him with something to clean after he finished his tea. The Captain sighed with contentment as he finished another swig of his steaming beverage. Petra knew how to make tea better than a bird knew how to fly.<em>

_Most of the Survey Corps squads were actively training in the yards and various obstacle courses, but not the Special Operations Squad. Erwin had granted Levi the option of managing his own team's regiment long ago, and he knew for a fact that they were more than at their peak, at all times. He would accept no less._

_So, in a rare act of generosity, Levi had given his subordinates the day off to do what they pleased around HQ. There was nothing left to clean after all. _

_Hearing someone entering the mess hall, the notorious neat-freak looked over his shoulder at the approaching form of Erd. The tall man said nothing as he walked over to Levi's chosen table and pulled out a chair next to his. He sat down while giving a nod to his Captain, which the man reciprocated. The two sat in companionable silence for a while._

_Finally, Erd withdrew his hand from his lap, gripping a deck of cards. "Blackjack?" he offered. Levi simply raised a brow and shrugged. Taking it as an affirmative, the blonde began to deal the cards out onto the wooden table top. "I'll deal first."_

_"__It won't help your chances, but sure."_

_Erd stopped mid-deal at the cocky remark and flicked his gaze to meet Levi's. He could read a glint of humor in the man's normally steely eyes, and it made him smirk. "Captain, was that smack I heard just now?" he drawled with poorly feigned incredulity. "Are you feeling ill?"_

_Levi just rolled his eyes and gave him the middle finger, before taking a peek at his hand. Erd chuckled and eyed his hand as well. The two then proceeded to kill a whole two hours, not saying a single word. Just playing cards in pleasant company._

_As their game progressed, others who filed into the room took interest. The two card-duelists had become so enthralled in the simple monotony, that neither seemed to notice the growing crowd around them. Half of the room looked over Levi's shoulder, while the other half looked over Erd's. Some ate their food while watching, as others murmured over cups of tea. _

_Auruo could occasionally be heard whispering about how he would have made the same move, when Levi hit or stayed. This prompted Petra to cuff him in the back of the head a few times. Hanji did the same to Mike every time he attempted to whisper advice to Erd. The cardsharps rarely acknowledged any of it, becoming more driven to break the ongoing tie that had lingered all day. Finally, when it seemed as if the Captain would tie up the number of rounds again, he instead only shrugged and said, "I bust."_

_He slapped his hand down on the table, revealing a King of hearts, a six of spades, and a nine of clubs, in that order. Levi's side of the room fell into groans and grumbles, while Erd's half erupted into cheers. At long last, the game was concluded, much to the relief of the onlookers. Backs were cracked and stretching took place, as everyone began milling about to find other things to do._

_That is, until they heard the soft timber of Erd's voice…_

_"__Go again?"_

_Eyes widened and jaws dropped. They couldn't be serious._

_"__Sure."_

_Everybody fell on their heads with disbelief. They were serious. Reshuffling the deck, Levi ignored the protests. "I'll deal."_

_"__It won't help your chances, so why not?"_

_This time, it was Levi that stopped midway through dealing the hands. He looked up in time to see the blonde barely repressing a grin. He promptly flipped the man off again, for using his own words to tease him. Erd finally cracked then, and began to laugh genuinely…_

* * *

><p>Now, he was nothing more than a bisected corpse. Bitten in half, most likely. Levi's rage and sorrow only increased, at the memory. They'd never play cards again.<p>

"Erd." Levi whispered, eyes glued to the nameplate. "What'll I tell your wife?"

With a heavy sigh and a final farewell, he moved on to the next door, reveling in the pain of his wounded leg, as if punishing himself. He deserved much worse for letting down his team. A different name gleamed on the door he now currently stood before.

Gunther Schultz. A stoic man with boundless honor and a taste for art…

_It was a miserable day out. Rain fell in heavy curtains on the roof of Survey Corps HQ, and anyone who knew what was good for them stayed inside. This didn't seem to bother Levi, however, as he ran a feather duster over every square inch of the window sill he occupied. A day of rain meant a day of cleaning, just as every other day meant the same thing._

_He could hear Auruo grumbling to himself as he tried to scrub a stain off the wall and continued to fail miserably. His washcloth vibrated at near inhuman speed, causing steam to rise from it, a comical look of confusion and annoyance etched into his face. After removing his hand, the poor man balked. The stain remained unfazed._

_Clutching his skull, Auruo threw his head back and screamed. "Why?! Whhhhhyyyyyy?!"_

_Erd spewed the beer he'd just taken a swig of, and burst into laughter at his comrade's plight. Petra looked startled at first, then mortified at the blonde man who had just covered her painstakingly mopped floor with beer and spit. Levi was just annoyed with the whole situation. _

_Heaving a sigh that conveyed his irritation, the Captain walked over to where Auruo was having his meltdown and inspected the stain. Squinting at it closely, he determined it was a paint stain of sorts…and it wasn't the first he'd seen recently. Someone at headquarters was being very messy as of late. Levi was not a happy bunny. _

_Withdrawing a peculiar bottle from his belt, the man-maid sprayed the spot twice and wiped it once. The stain disappeared with no trouble, leaving a pristine wall, and a shell-shocked Auruo. Levi walked back to his window, giving his stuttering subordinate a simple pat on the shoulder. "B-b-but I…You just… I was…then you-"_

_Halfway to his destination, Levi stopped as he noticed his cleaning crew was one short. "Where's Gunther?" he asked aloud, in a deceptively calm voice. Where Gunther had once been sweeping ahead of Petra's mopping spree, an abandoned broom now lay. Levi's eye twitched. Shirking his duties, eh?_

_"__Sneaky bastard," Erd grumped. "Leaving us to do all the work."_

_"__Uh-oh," Petra squeaked, as the Captain turned and left the room. She could have sworn she saw steam rising from his head. Auruo just continued to stare at the wall, stammering in utter bafflement. _

_After having scoured nearly the entire compound, Levi caught sight of his quarry on a balcony, under the awning. He was pretty sure he'd found his phantom painter as well. Walking out onto the terrace, he stood next to Gunther and looked over his shoulder. The man was painting away on his easel, so focused that he didn't seem to notice his company. The sound of pouring rain may have helped a bit, though. He seemed oddly happy and peaceful._

_"__Gunther, what are you doing?" Levi asked, shattering the man's tranquility._

_With a yelp of surprise, Gunther dropped his paint brush in mid-stroke and whipped around to face his Captain, a horrified expression on his face. "Jeezus, Captain, you scared the shit out of me!" he panted, clutching at his sporadically beating heart. Levi merely raised a brow, expecting an explanation. The guilty artist had the decency to look sheepish. "I…I'm painting, sir," he sighed, knowing he'd been caught, and his secret revealed._

_"__No shit. _What_ are you painting?"_

_"__Th-the rain," he finished lamely, scratching the back of his head._

_Levi blinked and said nothing for a few long seconds. "The rain?"_

_"__Uh-huh."_

_"__You skipped out on chores, to paint… the rain?"_

_"__Y-yeah."_

_"__And I suppose you're responsible for the splotches dotting the interior?"_

_As if realizing the extent of his crimes in the eyes of his Captain, Gunther began to hurriedly put away his water colors and various utensils, stuttering out various apologies. He just hoped his execution would be swift. _

_Despite being somewhat justified, Levi couldn't help feeling wrong about tearing the young scout away from something that brought him peace and fulfillment. It was rare to have such moments to enjoy oneself, especially in their line of work. You never know when you'll get another one._

_'__I must be getting soft.' He thought, before stilling his subordinate's frantic scrambling with his next words. "Don't bother. We were almost done anyway."_

_Gunther just stared, completely shocked stupid, as Levi made his way to a bench and sat down. Was the Captain… letting him off the hook? Hanji must have spiked his tea or something! Yes, that had to be it._

_"__Well? Are you just gonna stare at me all day, or are you gonna paint the rain?" _

_The words shook Gunther back to reality. "R-right!" he said, reorganizing his work station. His brush stopped before fully meeting the canvas, and he beamed a grateful smile over his shoulder at his superior. "Thank you, Captain."_

_Levi only shrugged, but Gunther knew his Captain. All was forgiven. "So, how does one paint the rain?" _

_Nodding him over, the newly revealed artist said, "I'll show you."_

_Thus began Captain Levi's regular art lessons with his enthusiastic comrade. He also had a new appreciation for the rain…_

* * *

><p>As if to honor the fallen painter, the skies opened up outside, letting their tears fall to the dismal earth below. Levi cast a tortured gaze over all the various splotches of color that decorated the dead man's door. A talented artist now lied cold, his passions and skills lost to the wind.<p>

Gunther had been slain in the most insulting of ways, the nape of his neck slit clean open. The fucking she-titan severed his spinal cord, spitting in the face of everything he stood for, by killing him as he would've killed her. Then she just left him to dangle like a useless scrap of meat, 3DMG still anchored to the last tree he'd swung from.

"I'm sorry, Gunther…" the grieving Captain breathed out. "I won't be able to paint the rain in your stead… I'm just no good at it."

By way of a parting stare, Levi moved on. With the ever increasing weight of depression bearing down on him, he limped to the next door. As he raised his eyes, the titan-slayer nearly coughed out a sob.

The door he now stood before looked as if it had been cleaned to the best of an amateur's abilities. It wasn't nearly as clean as his own, but someone had certainly tried. They even went as far as to attempt polishing the knob, which only he was known to do.

This room definitely belonged to his infamous mimic of a squadmate, Auruo Bossard…

_"__More tea, Captain?" Petra's lovely voice sing-songed._

_"__Please." Levi replied, holding out his cup without lifting his eyes from the crossword puzzle in front of him. She refilled his cup without a second thought._

_"__Yes, please." An arrogant voice was heard repeating the Captain. _

_Petra narrowed her eyes at Auruo, who sat next to Levi in the exact same pose, working on the same crossword, with all of the same answers filled in. It was painfully obvious that he had copied them as well. Ever since joining the Survey Corps, the man couldn't help but try to imitate his idol in every way possible. _

_The strawberry-blonde leaned over to fill his cup, and quite purposely 'spilled' a little bit of the steaming liquid on his hand. "Yaaagh!" Auruo bleated, quickly placing his cup down to nurse his scalded hand, ruining his cool façade. "What the hell, Petra?!" It was all Levi could do not to smirk at the situation._

_"__Oops." The girl smiled sweetly and flounced away to make a fresh pot, leaving Auruo to glare after her and make faces. He could be quite immature at times. In fact, he was becoming more dedicated to his mimicry every day, much to the annoyance of his comrades, particularly Petra. _

_Levi, on the other hand, could give a shit less about Auruo's daily antics. The man was a hell of a warrior when it came to titan-slaying, and that was all he really cared about. However, his potential was being hamstrung by his sandpaper-like personality, and it often made communication within the squad a bit… shitty. Not to mention the instances where Petra looked about ready to tear his throat out like a pissed-off lioness. _

_All in all, it was just a flaw that needed tweaking. Auruo didn't have to do a complete one-eighty, he just needed to lay off the imitating a tad. Well, maybe more than a tad. It wouldn't hurt for him to get over himself either. Bravado could get one killed in titan country._

_Once Petra had left, Levi noticed that he and Auruo were the only ones still in the mess hall. Now was as good a time as any to broach the subject, he supposed. Folding his newsprint over and resting it further away on the table, the Captain addressed his fanatic before he could do the same._

_"__Auruo."_

_"__Hm, yes Captain?" the scout in question responded casually, as if he hadn't just been getting ready to move his own page away._

_"__Let's take a walk." With that said, Levi got up from his seat and headed for the exit to the training yards, leaving his subordinate to follow if he wished. _

_"__Sure thing." Auruo replied, trailing after his role model as he crossed the threshold._

_Upon leaving the complex, the two were met with a warm summer day and a surprisingly empty training yard. Levi started trekking its perimeter with his squadmate close at heel, thinking of how he should begin. Yet, of course, the other man couldn't let the silence linger for any amount of time._

_"__Ah, a lovely morning! Wouldn't you say, Captain?" he didn't wait for his superior to answer and continued blathering away. "If any of those other weaklings knew what was good for them, they'd be out here making effective use of it to strengthen themselves. Yes, not everyone is born with _our _innate titan-killing abilities, so they should take every opportunity to improve their meager skills when given the chance."_

_Levi had to rub his temples and breathe deeply as he walked. He was starting to lose track of his thoughts._

_"__Of course, without _our_ natural prowess, they could never hope to approach a kill-count of, say, yours or mine, let alone survive multiple expeditions beyond the walls. I'm sure many of them would simply piss themselves when faced with an aberrant, and get devoured in a second. Rather pathetic, really, when you think about it."_

_This time, Levi did speak up. "If I recall correctly, _you_ pissed _your_ pants the moment a single titan had stepped into view, during your first expedition. A lowly five-meter, I think it was."_

_This threw Auruo off completely, who began stammering embarrassedly. "W-what?! No, Captain I didn't- It was at least an eight-meter! And my bladder was full after having three- no, four cups of tea before we left, I swear! Plus, I had just been about to 'go' on a nearby tree, as the bastard ambushed us! Really, Captain?!" the man huffed, his pride slightly injured._

_Noticing that the flow of incessant chattering had diminished, Levi thought it was about time to get straight to the point. He stopped suddenly, causing Auruo to halt in his tracks lest he collide with the Captain. "Auruo," he began in a calm voice, "why is it that you feel the need to act as I do, all the time?" There, it was a simple enough question._

_But, of course… "I'm afraid I don't follow, sir." The tone of his response said otherwise, however. Levi just turned around and gave him a dead-pan stare. Auruo tried his best to look confused by the sudden question, but only ended up looking constipated and nervous._

_"__Oh relax, would you!" The former undergrounder sighed with a classic roll of his eyes. "I'm not angry with you, nor does it bother me too much. I wouldn't mind an explanation, however, as to why you imitate my general behavior on a regular basis. Care to share?"_

_Auruo's eyes darted from left to right, as if searching for an escape. Not that he would get very far. Seeing no way out of this little interrogation, his shoulders slumped and he ran a hand through his hair with a sigh of his own. This conversation was a long time coming, anyway._

_"__Well… 'cause you're my hero, Captain." The spec-ops scout relented, keeping his eyes glued to the turf beneath his feet. "I-I mean, I'm sure you're everyone's hero, but… I've looked up to you ever since I first saw you in action. That was years before I even became a recruit, when you slaughtered over a half-dozen titans who'd overrun my village, all of them being 10-meters or more."_

_Levi seemed to recall that day somewhat, and despite how easy he was sure he made it look, it had been difficult. Even for him. He'd lost so many good men to those particular titans. Yet, he had gained one because of them._

_His prodigious lesser continued, still looking abashed. "After so many had fallen to those monsters, you just… came out of nowhere, dropping them like a bad habit! After the last one hit the dirt, you landed outside my house, looking so unruffled. Almost like you never once felt an ounce of fear when facing them down. Then, the way you just brushed aside the crowds of adoring civilians like they were mere nuisances… It was all just so cool._

_It was then that I'd decided to be just like you, sir. I wanted to be a stone-cold warrior who ate titans for breakfast. I wanted to be able to look down on others for once, instead of being the one looked down on all the time. I… I wanted to be fearless, Captain. That's why I joined the military. That's why I joined the Survey Corps. And that's why I act like you."_

_Nothing was said for a while, after Auruo had finished his peace. The man just continued to stare at the ground, dreading what words may come from his Captain. Would he be disciplined? Kicked off the squad? Or worse, would he be forced to drink tea brewed by Erd?! His stomach churned at the thought of his squadmate's infamously burnt beverage. That man was absolutely terrible at crafting anything that's supposed to taste good._

_"__I'm not fearless." Came the surprisingly mellow tone of Levi's voice. Auruo looked up at his superior. He was gazing into the distance, with an almost forlorn look in his eyes and a frown tugging at the edges of his mouth._

_"__Captain?"_

_"__I have as many fears as I have comrades." The stoic man continued. "I fear that they may all perish. I fear that I won't be able to protect them, just as I've failed to protect so many others. I'm not invulnerable, Auruo, nor am I without feelings or emotions. I have my own scars and my own weaknesses, just like everyone else."_

_Auruo could hardly believe what he was hearing. Was the Captain… confiding in him?_

_"__I simply choose to rise above them. They are always there, trying to influence my choices, my decisions. But, I've become stronger because of them. If you were to imitate my fears and insecurities as well, then you would truly know what it is to be 'the great Captain Levi'… and then… then you would _beg_ to be Auruo."_

_Levi closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before opening them to look at his pupil. Auruo's eyes were filled with a sudden understanding, his posture fully relaxed and not uptight for once. _

_"__If to be Auruo is to be Levi, then knock yourself out with the all the imitations you please. Or, you could take your own fears, your own scars, and rise above them. 'Cause trust me, you're better off being someone else." With that last piece of advice, Levi let it all soak into the man before him._

_Finally, a look of pride and determination morphed onto Auruo's features. It seems he finally understood. "Don't worry, Captain. I won't let you down. I won't let anyone down, not anymore. You'll be my inspiration, nothing more, I promise."_

_"__Riiiiiiight." came the Captain's dubious response. _

_Ever since then, the mimicry was dialed down quite a bit, though it still remained. Levi was satisfied in the knowledge, however, that it was just Auruo being Auruo… _

* * *

><p>That man would've been something great. Uncannily good at titan-hunting, with a well of untapped potential. Levi swallowed thickly and turned from the door, with a parting farewell. If anyone else tried to act like him again, he wasn't sure he'd be able to take the pain.<p>

As his leaden feet dragged him closer to the final door before his own, Levi felt as if time slowed down. His chest was tight and his breathing ragged, as if the grip of despair was crushing the very air out of him. At last, Levi found himself in the one spot he really didn't want to be, a lump in his throat and pain in his heart.

'She didn't deserve this… God, why did it have to be her?'

With excruciating heartbreak, he finally raised his haunted eyes to the nameplate on the door… and broke down. Sinking to his knees, he clutched at his forehead with one hand, as the other reached out to touch the barrier.

The plate read: Petra Ral…

_Survey Corps headquarters was nearly one-hundred percent barren. No patrols roamed the outskirts, just as no training took place within. All scouts of the Corps were given leave for a small holiday to visit their homes and families, which nearly everyone capitalized on. _

_Well, almost everyone._

_It came as no surprise to anyone that Levi Ackerman chose to remain, while nearly all others left. He would simply take this time to catch up on some much overdue paperwork, or wage war on the endless filth that most likely hid in every nook and cranny. Besides, he had no family to return to. None but the Survey Corps themselves._

_So there the Captain slumped, bearing down on his desk and burning holes in the large pile of monotonous reports and files that sat upon it. He could carve a swath through endless hordes of titans like a hot knife through butter, and yet he couldn't seem to get the grasp of administrative work, no matter how long he'd been doing it._

_Continuing to confound himself over all the regulations and procedures he forgot on a regular basis, Levi just barely noticed a light tapping on the door to his office. Probably Erwin or Hanji, considering they were supposed to be the only ones left in the facility, besides himself. Perhaps he could push this dreadful garbage onto them instead, though there was little to no chance of that happening, and he knew it._

_"__Come in." he sighed, throwing down his quill and running his hands down his face in exhaustion._

_"__Captain?" came a soft voice, that in no way could have come from his General or fellow squad leader. There was no mistaking that gentle tone._

_Levi peeked out from between his fingers with a raised brow, and just as he'd thought, there was Petra. She simply stood in the doorway with a steaming cup of tea in her small hands, and a timid smile adorning her flawless features. _

_"__Ral, what'n the hell are you still doing here?" Levi exhaled with slight frustration. "Shouldn't you be home, spending time with your loved ones while you have the chance?" One never knew when there would be another opportunity to do just that._

_"__Well, sir," she began hesitantly, shuffling her feet a little, "I write to my father on a regular basis, and he's never been one to worry too much, so long as I am where I want to be. He's a truly understanding person, in that way."_

_Levi's brow furrowed in confusion. That was all well and good, but it still didn't explain to him why Petra would want to remain at HQ rather than visit her family. She must have read the confusion on his face, for she spoke up once again. This time she seemed a little more tentative in her speech, however._

_"__B-besides, you'd be here all by yourself, Captain!" Petra flushed before continuing, lowering her eyes. "I just thought you might like some company, is all." _

_Levi's entire state of being relaxed all at once, as he let his subordinates words sink in. She would willingly sacrifice her free time to spend with friends and family, just so he wouldn't feel lonely? This selfless young woman would actually choose to be around the crankiest, most unapproachable man in the military, over seeing her father again for the first time in months? He could scarcely wrap his head around it._

_Levi saw his crew nearly every day. He had been pretty sure they were sick of him by now. Yet, here stood Petra, a flustered mess, but here all the same. He had already ruled out pity or obligation as a cause for her refusal to leave, which meant that she truly, genuinely wanted to remain here… with him._

_But, he still had his pride, after all. "I wouldn't be by myself. Hanji and Erwin are here." 'Way to throw her kindness back in her face, asshole!' a voice in the Captain's head screamed._

_The angel-on-earth seemed completely unaffected, however, as she stepped past the threshold and now stood before his desk. "That's pretty much the same thing, Captain." She joked lightly, smile never fading. _

_It was true. Neither of the fore mentioned officers would bother checking in on the moody Captain very often, for fear of getting their head bitten off. It was best to let him approach others at his own pace. A rather presumptuous perspective on their part, but he really couldn't blame them._

_Still somewhat baffled, he met her golden eyes with his own wistful optics. _

_"__Why?" It was all he could manage to force past his lips._

_Petra's eyes visibly widened at the question, her already flushed skin reddening further. "W-well… I-" She fidgeted with the teacup in her grasp. "I just- um…" Levi would never admit it to anyone, but a flustered Petra was by far the most adorable sight he'd ever laid eyes on._

_Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Petra got a hold of herself. This time, when she opened her eyes to look at him, it felt as if the air was taken from his lungs. In the swirling depths of those gems, Levi saw passion, devotion, and something he didn't think he could handle…_

_Love._

_"__Because I respect you, Captain." She spoke softly. "More than anything in this world, I respect you. You've done more for me than I can ever repay, and even if I could give it all back to you, I would still be here."_

_She set the cup down on his desk with trembling hands, probably afraid she would drop it, as she continued._

_"__N-no one deserves to be alone, sir… Least of all, the man who's given everything for the survival of human-kind. As long as it's within my power to do so, I won't ever let you be alone…Captain Levi."_

_The two scouts marinated in awkward silence for a few painful seconds, until…_

_"__Thank you… Petra," came the smoothest, most gentle voice she had ever heard from him, causing her head to snap up, eyes searching his tenderly. "I…I'm lucky to have you."_

_There was endless gratitude in his waiting gaze, and an expression of pure peace on his usually stoic features. He'd meant what he said in every way, just as she had. Butterflies fluttered around in her stomach at his warm look, while she was sure she looked like a tomato right about now. "Y-you're welcome…Captain."_

_True to her word, Petra never left Levi's side that day, or if she did, it wasn't for very long. Together, they conquered the villainous stack of paperwork that had plagued the Captain so. Neither of them would forget this day, just as neither of them would ever be alone…_

* * *

><p>The once beautiful memory only forced a heart-racking sob from the collapsed war-machine, the first of what he knew to be many. Why Petra? Why, why, why? She was the sweetest person he knew to have ever walked this godforsaken rock of a planet, and now she was gone. It was as if his world was now starved of sunlight, the once joyous source forever extinguished.<p>

Levi didn't even have a body to give her father. All that remained of his precious teammate had been dumped from the wagon as bait to distract a pursuing aberrant… by _his_ own order. What kind of payment was that, for sticking by his side as long as she had?!

This was why he hadn't wanted to let them get close, why he had tried so hard to keep them at arms-length. Yet despite all of his efforts, the members of his squad had managed to worm their way into Levi's heart nonetheless. Where they proceeded to shatter it to pieces upon their demise.

As the beginnings of tears began to make their steady journey down his expression of anguish, he'd failed to notice a presence that had been there since he began his walk of shame. At the opposite end of the hall, where he'd originally come from, stood a devastated Hanji. Tears of her own had long since left tracks on her smooth features, while both of her hands were clasped at her heart. She had never seen Levi this way, not even after the deaths of Farlan and Isabelle. It broke her heart.

The Chief Scientist had followed the hurting Captain when he'd tried to slip away, wanting to see if he was okay, _needing_ to see him okay. Nothing in this universe could have prepared her for the overwhelming display of pure brokenness that he'd openly broadcasted. It would haunt her till her dying day.

'Oh God, Levi' she thought, in utter agony over his own pain.

It wasn't until the grieving titan-killer jerked his head around to face her in alarm, that Hanji realized she must've whispered the words aloud. Seeing his face in all its tortured glory made her want to die on the spot. He quickly shot to his feet, though it was more of a stumble, and began scrubbing away at his face with a vengeance. He was ashamed, she realized. Ashamed to let anyone know that he was only human, like the rest of them. Didn't he realize that she would never judge him? She could never do anything to hurt him.

"No!" Hanji ground out fiercely, voice cracking from the mutual misery they shared. She stalked towards him at a surprising pace, tears still falling mercilessly. "Don't you dare! Don't you fucking dare hide them from me!"

Upon reaching Levi, she slapped his hands away from his distorted face and proceeded to envelope him in a tight embrace. God, he was trembling. It only made her hug him closer to her. The bastard would let it out, or she wasn't letting go. Simple as that.

It only took around five seconds before Levi crumbled completely. He clutched at Hanji, holding on to her for dear life, as the most violent sobs she'd ever heard echoed in the empty halls around them. His body shook and racked in perfect tune with the dismaying sounds, as Hanji tried desperately to remain strong for both of them. It was so hard to keep from breaking down herself at the uncharacteristic tempest of emotion radiating from the man she considered her best friend. Hanji felt like she was in a nightmare, one where Levi couldn't save the day this time.

The Head Researcher knew what she needed to do, as there was really no other option that she could see. There were so many uncertainties, so many risks. Even she didn't know what the outcome would be. She only knew that if anyone deserved its power, if anyone deserved a second shot, it was the man coming undone in her arms. So, the decision made, she reached into her coat pocket and found what she was searching for.

"Levi," she whispered mournfully, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"

The intensity of the man's weeps only increased at her heartfelt words. He hadn't meant to drag another into the wake of his desolation, least of all Hanji. She was far too whimsical a spirit to be saddled with this pain. Her final words confused him, though.

"I-I don't know what's going to happen, but… just, come find me. Okay?" Her voice was thick with emotion.

The last thing Levi felt before everything blurred into darkness, was a small sting in the side of his neck, and Hanji's soft lips on his own.


End file.
